There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't want my vagina anymore.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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