She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
