i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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