her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
