i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I would ride that face into the sunset
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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