If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
