well you can't waste a boner
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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