Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
