I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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