that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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