She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
