dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
