What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
