I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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