Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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