would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wear drunk well.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
