Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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