You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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