Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
