Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
