Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
