at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
being pregnant is like rehab
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
