belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
