Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
