hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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