weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I need moral support for this bender
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
