He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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