Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
