i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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