When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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