we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
