I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
