I could have mohawked her pubes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
