I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
