Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
