I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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