these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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