i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
