i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
