We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
