Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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