How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I cockslap morals
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
