i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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