I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
