Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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