I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
