I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sext me about skeletons
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
