We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
