I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
