the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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