there was a trapeze. enough said
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
