What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
