I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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