On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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