I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
